Happy Independence Day, Everybody!
Since it’s a big holiday here in the States, we won’t be publishing a regular blog today. However, we did want to stop in and make sure that everybody has a safe and amazing holiday, so we came up with a few tips to help make the 4th great. Please note, we’re not going to be responsible if you waver from the course and refuse to take advantage of all the advice we have to offer — you’re totally on your own there.
Tips for a Better Fourth of July Celebration
When you’re lucky enough to have a holiday that lands on a Wednesday, one of two things happens. Either everybody acts like it didn’t happen and goes on with their lives sans holiday or you get a whole week off, more or less. Sure, you might actually go to work, but you’re totally phoning it in. It’s ok. We know. Since this particular holiday is Independence Day, we sort of assumed that you’re going to play hookey as much as possible in order to maximize your celebration of the birth of our nation.
In the spirit of the holiday, we’ve deviated from our regular course and written this special celebration post, fresh from Fort Worth, Texas. If you want to celebrate like an American, try these tips before the holiday’s over!
- Get more meat. I don’t care how much you’ve grilled this week, you didn’t grill enough. They sell Nolan Ryan beef at the Kroger, that’s sort of two kinds of Americana right there. More beef. More beef. Moooooooorrreeeeeee beef! … and maybe a chicken?
- Blow up stuff. Look, we’re not your mom, but you’re clearly not creating your fair share of explosions. So get yourself to a fireworks stand and buy a basketful. Heck, buy TWO basketfuls and share them with the neighbors. That is the charitable thing to do. Don’t forget the punks and the lighters. We always forget the punks and lighters.
- Keep your pets inside. We know that Fido likes to blow stuff up, too, but he’s still a dog and doesn’t really understand the meaning of freedom. Keep him inside in order to prevent his being spooked by a misplaced bottle rocket. He may go running off into the night, never to be seen again. This is bad for you and very bad for Fido.
- Remember the Founders. It’s the perfect time to read, recite and/or sing the Preamble to the Constitution. After all, that’s what this holiday is all about.
- Buy a soldier a drink. Seriously, these folks have seen some rough times and they still fight for us. They’re incredible. They’re the reason we still get to celebrate Independence Day. Oh, and be careful about blowing up stuff around your favorite vets. Sometimes that can be a real problem. We have nothing but respect, veterans and active military.
We’re just about to peel out of the office on this Tuesday afternoon, but here’s wishing you and yours a great holiday week. We’ll resume the marketing talk next week, after we’ve finished this full brisket slab, the 700 Nolan Ryan burgers and that one chicken….